Music of My Life Project

So I recently turned 34. Last year about this time, I decided to put together a soundtrack for my life. I selected 11 or 12 songs from throughout my life that meant something to me and put them in order. This year I'm going to do it a little differently. For the next 34 days, I am going to select 1 song per day taken from a year in my lifetime. I will start tomorrow with Year 0.

Sometimes, this will be a song that spoke to what I was going through at the time, or perhaps my attitude. Other times, the song selected will invoke a particular memory or a person or place. Sometimes it will be just a song that I really enjoyed. I already have some songs in mind, but I am going to leave this as a organic process and see where it goes.

Christian or christian?

So when I was growing up, I learned to differitiate the words 'Communist' and 'communist'. A 'communist' was a person who beleived in the economic philosophy of communism, i.e. all ownership, profits, and debts are communal and the responsibilty and priviledge of all members. A 'Communist' was a member of the Soviet Communist Party, which is communist only in name, and, from what I understand, was much more a political and economic oligarchy.

The reason I bring this up is because of something that Michael Gatlin said in his message last week. He quoted a person he had met years before, saying "If Jesus were alive today, would he be a Christian?" (Capitalization is mine, obviously) It made me wonder if there is a distinction between christians and Christians and what that distinction might be.

My natural inclination is to extend the Communist/communist analog further and say that one is a person that seeks to become like Christ, while the other is a member of an organization which may or may not hold to the teachings of Christ. The problem, and it is merely a sematic one, is which is which? The word 'communist' comes for the base word 'commune', so capitalizing it sets it apart from the original meaning. But 'christian' comes from 'Christ-like', so should the original term be capitalized of not?

Well, a quick look at Wikipedia, confirmed by digging out and looking up in my junior high edition of Writers Inc, tells me that adjectives that are derived from proper names should retian the capitalization. Therefore, I am a Christian man. I would assume that a noun derived from a proper name would also be capitalized. Therefore, I am a Christian.

So I think what I need to do here is the opposite of the convention that I learned regarding c/Communism. Christian will refer to a follower of Christ, while christian will refer to a member of an organization. Although I don't find this solution altogether satisfying, either. This will require more thought.

So I'm sitting in my office on a conference call. While I'm on the call, Mat and Charlie come home. Right now Charlie is in the next room, playing with Bionicles and singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to himself over and over again. Well actually only 2 or 3 lines of it over and over again. It is really cute.

So often I feel (and I suspect others feel this way, too) that I am missing so many opputunities to teach my children and give them the things that they need. I worry that I'm warping them or damaging them without trying to. But every now and again, and thankfully with my kids it's more often than not, they do something that makes me feel very comfortable with the parenting job I'm doing, because they are such great kids.

So I wondered into a website today. It is called Positive Atheism (www.positiveatheism.org) and it is interesting. I like to read the thoughts and reasonings of atheists and agnostics. Some are earnestly open and seeking truth. Others are as, or even more, dogmatic than any catholic monk or Bible-belt pulpit-thumper.

My first thought when I saw the name of the web site was that this was a positive look at atheism. Not positive as in happy or pleasant, but positive as in defining atheism with positive evidence, rather than simply defining itself as opposed to religious institutions and everything that they believe. This site did not live up to my hopes. But this is not suprising, as atheism is in itself a negative belief; that there is no god. I liken it to something Einstein said about this theory of relativity, "No number of experiments could prove me right, but one could prove me wrong."

For this reason, I have always found agnostism a more intellectual honest approach. And in fact, even being a "theist" myself, I think that a certain amount of agnostism is a good thing. The Jewish zealots thought that the Messiah was coming to free them from Roman oppression. The fact that Jesus came to free them from a completely different and deeper oppression, I suspect, caused a large number of them to miss out on what Jesus came to offer. If only they could have tuned into what God was doing, rather than their interpretation of what God said through the Scriptures. That's why I tend to stay away from the obsession to pour over Revelations and Daniel to peice together what God will do in the End Times. Chances are even if God put it in there, I would miss it or mis-interpret it badly.

But turning back to this website, it seems to me, from this and most past experience with atheists, that atheists attack the Church itself, and in particular, the Catholic Church, rather than the tenants of the christian faith. In this, there is, unfortunately, far too much ammunition. The Inquistion, the Crusades, subjectation of women, corruption, sexual abuse, selfish political manuevering, ectera ad infinatum. However, it is strictly an Ad Homminum attack. For those of you who did not take Logical Fallicies 101, Ad Homminum is latin for "against the man" and involves attacking a person's character rather than a person's arguements.

This site devotes a lot of space for quotes. Quotes can be fun, but typically do little or nothing to further a logical discussion. In fact, it can often reduce a reasonable debate to mindless sloganeering and fanboy one-up-mans-ship. Quotes can pose ideas. Then can even argue points to a degree, but they tend to be trimmed down to such a degree that they can only be used to state one person's opinion. What Samuel Clemens said about the Bible can only be used as evidence in an arguement about what Samuel Clemens beleived.

It does cover a little (actually a disappointly scant little) of statements from Biblical text. There is certainly a lot in the Bible (particularly in the Old Testemnt) that is offensive to our modern western mind; slavery, women's rights, corpeal and capital punishment, etc. But the arguements are strictly one-sided and do not address the vast cultural differences between then and now. The points they bring up seem to indicate a very cursory view of the Bible. By that, I only mean that there are many more shocking elements from the Old Testament than are mentioned there. So if the effort is to alienate the world of the Old Testament, there is more and better points to make.

He lives! Yes, it's been many moons since I posted here. Life happens and the blog kinda fell by the wayside. I was laid off from Onvoy and got a job with Orange Business Services. Same role, (almost) same title, but Orange is a LOT bigger than Onvoy. Onvoy was restricted to companies operating within Minnesota, for the most part. Orange only deals with companies that have an international presence. This mean fewer, bigger customers. But luckily not much travel, as I only have responsibility for companies based in Minnesota.

Anyway, what brought me out of my semi-retirement from the Blogosphere is an e-mail draft that I found from years ago. I wrote this for a friend when he got married like 6 or 7 years ago. I'm not even sure if I ever even sent it. But I like what I wrote and I think it's fairly universally true (and not confidential or even personal). So here it is for your consideration....

***, I meant to do this at your wedding, but there wasn't a good time, and I think I might do a better job if I write it down anyway. You chose me to be a groomsman at your wedding. I was very honored. I also consider it my duty to support you and Becky in your wedding bliss in anyway that I can. It's in that spirit that I'm writing this note. I don't mean to imply that this is the key to maritial happiness, but I think that Seren and I have a good marriage, and this is what has worked for us (well, me in particular).

First of all, I have the impression that you are a Christian. I don't think we have ever really discussed it, but that is just the feeling I get. If not, this next part my seem a little strange. The Bible commands us (men) to love our wives as Christ loved the church and wives should submit to their husbands. When I first heard that, I thought it was unfair. Why should men get to be in charge? However, I have come to realize that being in charge isn't all its cracked up to be. Being in charge means being responible, doing the things that need to be done, not doing the things that shouldn't be done. It means sometimes saying no when you really want to say yes. It means making sure that there is a roof over your heads and food on the table. It means sacrificing for your wife and family the way Christ sacrificed himself for the Church. Really, it's an awesome responsibility. Men are wired to do this. And when the mantle of leadership is approached this way, I think that women are wired to respond.

This does not mean that the man does everything. I'm not saying the wife shouldn't balance the checkbook, or buy things, or make money. But in important decisions, the husband decides and the husband lives with the consquences. I think that even when the husband does not make the decision, he will still take on the responibility of a mistake, which only leads to a feeling of helplessness.

Philosophically, that is how I approach my marriage. Now, Seren feels the same way I do and that may be why it works, I don't know. But I think it works pretty well.

As for solid pieces of advice:
- Look at your wife often, at least once a week. When I say look at her, I don't mean just glance in her direction and note where she is. Stop what your doing and really look at her. Remind yourself that this beautiful woman is the one you have choosen to be with for the rest of your life. Find the beauty that you saw on your wedding day. Time and circumstance might distort the veiw, so take a minute or two to look for it.
- Compliment your wife whenever you can. Even if your world is falling apart, try to lift up her. In the end, you may well need her to scrape you up off the floor.
- Remember that your wife is human, with all the wonders and terrors that come along with that. Do everything that you can to understand her.
- Realize that your wife is not always rational. I'm not saying this as a joke. Women are the slaves of their emotions. The way around this is not to fight the emotion or try to agrue with it, or even try to convince the woman that she is emotional. Just be as loving and understanding as possible. Eventually she'll realize that the emotion is driving her and that she can trust you.
- Do not betray a woman's trust. It is alot harder to build than it is to maintain.
- If you ever do have problems ( and I'm sure you will :), seek help. I know Seren and I would be more than willing to listen. Sometimes just vocalizing the problem can bring things in to focus. Anytime, anywhere, just give us a call.

May Christ live in your marriage and keep it strong,
Chris

Peter or Judas?

So lately I have been thinking about heresy and salvation. I mean the concept of heresy, not heretical thoughts. The Bible tells us that when we accept Jesus, we receive eternal salvation. We receive atonement for all of our sins, past, present, and future. However, we are also warned about false prophets that can lead us astray and Paul himself worries about failing into false teaching.

This leads into the doctrine of election, which is one of those subjects that can be explained in a single sentence or two, but requires several lifetimes to fully understand. Simply put, it is the concept that God, and only God, through the person of the Holy Spirit, can inspire willful, rebellious man to accept the salvation of Jesus, and that this inspiration is irresistible. In other words, the Holy Spirit's movement is exclusively necessary and uniquely sufficient to cause a saving faith in Jesus Christ.

On the surfaces this seems logically tautalogical. "Those that end up in Heaven are the ones that God wanted there." Well, which came first; the will of God or the people in Heaven? Kinda like the comedian who slips on the banana peel, lands on his feet, and say that he meant to do that. On the other hand, a truly omnisecent being would have to know the end from the beginning.

But that is neither here nor there. I don't fully understand the doctrine of election, but I beleive that it is true, because it stated in the Bible several times. Because of this, every person is either ultimately saved or ultimately condemned and the only thing that can change is our perception of that reality.

Which brings me to my original question. Peter or Judas? Both betrayed Jesus. Jesus knew they both would. But one went on to kill himself, alone and condemned, and the other went on to found the Christian Church. Unfortunately, from our perspective, it's like a scratch-off game; no one this side of Heaven knows who anyone will pass that test.

So which is it going to be? Peter or Judas?

Binge Cleaning.

That is the term that I have coinned (although I doubt I'm the first) (Sure enough. Google counted 477 references to 'binge cleaning' in only .27 seconds.) to describe the hectic, desperate, stressful, and mad dash to clean the entire house (or at least large percentages of it) in a single day or weekend.

Now, let me preface the following by saying that I love my wife and I love my mother. And I do so for very, very different reasons. Whoever came up with that old saying about marrying someone just like mom didn't know what he was talking about. I was actually kinda happy that my mother didn't take to my wife right away. However, in this binge cleaning business they are alike. I don't know if other women are like this or if it's just a localized insanity. I do not understand why a person would put themselves under that kind of mental and physical stress. Ignorance, however, does not include innocence and I was morally required to assist my wife in any and all phases of this 'Blitz-sauber' (That's german of lightning cleaning).

This, of course, was in preparation for the advent of my wife's birthday. It was grand. The highlight, I think, was when all 20-odd people assembled sang a hale and hearty Happy Birthday to my wife. The low point, of course, was the Vikings loss to the Chiefs. Oh well. Probably make more sense to start watching college ball so I can speak intelligently about who the Vikings are going to draft with the third overall draft pick.

I have heard it said that good poetry comes from a depth of emotion. The deeper the emotion, in theory, the better the poetry. I don't know if that is accurate. Surely love and passion lend themselves to prose. Loss and tragedy do also. But I don't knoe that there is a genre in the annuls of great poetry for poems of pain. Pain is a very basic experience and typically doesn't require exposition. Sure, a poem can address to source of the pain, but that goes back to tragedy or loss. But the pain itself? Not so much.

O it hurts
Ow Ow Ow
Boy, i wish this pain would stop


The Void stalks me
It calls to me with promise of shelter
O blessed relief! To be free of this weight
That surely anchors me in this mire.
But I dare not surrender
The weight is heavy, but real
The mire is filthy, but it is where I stand
The Void has no bottom, no end in that fall
And yet it's siren song pulls at me
And so I lash myself to the mast
Like a splint I force myself still
Thus stiff, unmoving and unmovable, I stand

Hey, crep.

So yesterday, I'm walking across downtown Minneapolis, as I am wont to do, going from where one bus drops me off to where another bus picks me up. It's about 3 blocks. While I'm walking I see a woman with a big backpack on and carrying 2 grocery bags. See approaches a pickup truck that has stopped at a red light. At first I assume that she is being picked up by someone that she knew. Instead of opening the door, she knocks on the window and waves. The driver rolled the window down a inch or two and the woman asked for a ride just a couple of blocks because her bags were so heavy. I couldn't hear the drivers response, but I assume it was negative as this woman threw her arms up and said "Well, #%&% you, then". I felt sorry for this woman and felt that she needed someone to show that they cared. And since she was walking the same way I was, and only had a couple of blocks, I asked her if she'd like some help carrying her bags. She said "#%&% yeah". So we walked for a about three blocks (a block past my bus stop, but that's OK). The bags were full of groceries that she had gotten at a local food shelf. She told me her name and I told her mine. She asked me what I do. I told her that I was an IT sales engineer, which meant I went out with sales people and designed solutions for customers. Her response was that that must earn me a pretty penny. She then asked me if I was married. I told her that I was and that I had three children, all boys. She commented that I must be a good father. I dropped her groceries off at the front step of a low-rent downtown hotel and said good bye. I hope that I blesses this woman and made her life at least a little easier. As I was walking back to my bus stop, about a block away, I saw my bus pulling away. I thought, it doesn't matter, God will provide. Sure enough, by the time I had walked that block and reached my stop, another bus going to the same place was right there. I didn't have to wait at all. Wow, God is good. (And I mean that both ways; He is exceedingly competent and exceedingly righteous.)

Ahhh, football is in the air!!!

The nights are getting cooler. There is a hint of fall in the air. I know Indian Summer is just around the corner, but I don't mind. The NFL football season kicked off this weekend and the Vikings started in impressive fashion; 24-3 over the Vick-less Falcons. Life is good.

Today is going to be stream of consciouness, so return your seatback to it's full, upright position, consult a physician before you begin, and you must be this tall or accompanied by an adult to ride.

In regards to the 'rejuvenation' issue, I think I have a possible solution. The past several nights, or every other night really, I have gone to the club to work out. The first night I brought an iPod with Chris Tomlin and Out of the Grey. That was awesome. Second time, Seren and I went together and we went through the work-out she was assigned by her weight-loss class. That was pretty grueling. Third night (last night) I brought a radio and listen to the TV that was playing the Sunday night football game. That also was fun. I think the answer is working out. I had the misfortune of working out on the eliptical machine that was next to the mirrors last night. I really need to get in better shape. Ugh. I think I will feel better, in the short and long run, if I keep working out. The night (and I say night, rather than evening because I'm not going until about 10:00 or later) is working. I can't work out before work because we are stuck with one car, and so while Seren is working, I am on the bus. But that's OK. Gives me a chance to read. This morning I read Power Healing. I'm way behind. I'm only on page 90 of 250, and I need to have the book finished (along with the book of Mark) by Wednesday night for the PASS class. I'm saving Mark for last since I already know how it ends. Power Healing is a good book that is prompting me to do some serious soul-searching, but there was that barely visible line that I mentioned last time. PASS was moved to Wednesday because we are going to be particiapating in Alpha starting on Teusday. That should be real fun. Oh, which reminds me, since we bugged out of church yesterday after worship, I didn't get to hear Greg's first message as interim head pastor. I need to go to the website and check that out. So I will do that, and leave this stream of consciousness to babble queitly through the rocks in my head.

The smoldering husk that was my Links tab...

Teri Sue has deleted her blog, David hasn't updated his since early June, Paula's gone underground, and Chris Reeve's has been abandoned. I suppose I can't blame them. It's been over a month since I updated mine. It's not that I don't want to update it, but it seems that it's a combination of 3 things. First, there doesn't seem to be time. Two, there is a barely visible line between the things that I can announce in a public forum and the things that I can't/shouldn't and figuring out the difference that time and effort. And third, I'm not sure how I feel about most things at any one time. Bless my wife, though. At least she is keeping at it.

My wife asked me an unusual question this morning. She asked me what rejuvenates me. This comes from my feelings/comments to her yesterday. Last night I was feeling a little anxious. It was the end of a three-day weekend and I didn't feel ready to "take on the week". This morning my dear wife hypothisized that the things that I do when I "unwind", such as play PS2 or watch TV, do not actually rejuvenate me, which leads to feeling like I do. I can't say that she's wrong. But I don't know what the answer is.

So Friday night, while Mat and Charlie spent the night at the Lewis' house, Rand, Seren and I went to Barnes & Noble for the Harry Potter Release Party. Man, the place was a *ZOO*. We got there at 9:30 (the book could not go on sale until midnight). There was a drawing, and some HP word find puzzles, and several costume contests, but for the most party, the three of us just found a place to sit down (between the bookshelves as all the chairs were taken), and read books. Seren found the latest Evanovich book, Lean Mean Thirteen. Rand was reading the Knife of Dreams, I beleive. I picked up an interesting book titles Atlantis Raising. I read the first 4 chapters and I think I'd like to read more.

Anyway, we finally got the book at 1:15 in the morning. My dear, misguided wife told my son that he could read until he passed out. When I woke up at 8:00 the next morning to go to the Single Parent Oil Change at church, sure enough, he was passed out. That afternoon, we went to Martha's wedding, with Rand (and his book) in tow. It was a nice wedding, BTW, but I had allergies and took some Benadryl and Alleve which almost knocked me unconscious. I ended up leaving early and falling asleep in the van. But, even will all of that, Rand finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows by 6:30 Saturday evening, about 17 hours after we got the book. And it is 784 pages. Yeah, the term 'voracious reader' comes to mind. Now Mat and I both have bookmarks in it, and Seren is waiting in line. I should finish it tonight. It is a very good book so far (I have about 100+ pages left) and seems to be a very good end to the series.

Let's see, what else is new... We had Teri Sue, Jason, his three kids, and his parents over for lunch on Sunday. With David and his two kids, it made for a rather busy house. Jason's mother is an interesting character; an older charasmatic. I always thought that was an oxymoron, like black republican or conservative democrat. It was alot of fun having everyone over. There is something nice about having a large group come over and just talking.

It brings to mind my last birthday party. I remember distinctly sitting back and looking at the people all around our dining room table, everyone talking together and having a good time. I really enjoyed that night, and I feel great love and a strong kinship with every person that was there. I mourn what I have lost since then. I wish I could go back to that night. Even just to experience it again. Oh oh, I'm starting to sound like CoCo the Talking Guitar. Calculated Existential Angst. Thankfully, I can't keep a serious thought going for long.

I passed the Cisco QoS test yesterday. One down, 7 to go. Actually the magic number is now 2. That's how many tests my company is waiting on me to pass. It's come down to a race; Can I pass these two tests before Craig passes his MCSE? I'm not worried, the company need to send Craig to a bootcamp.

As for me, I am beat tired. Exhusted mentally, physically and spiritually. PASS class was good last night. I felt the presence and work of the Holy Spirirt to a degree that I have not in a long time. When I got home, I resolved to get to bed early tonight. Too many nights of burning the midnight oil study have caught up to me. However, just I was ready to roll over and drift off to lala land, Seren gets a call from our neighbors. They were having a maritial crisis. So Seren and I went to their house and talked to them, individually, then together for a couple of hours. All I can say is 'Ago Ministro'. At times like that, that becomes like a mantra to me. "I serve". I'm just glad that I don't have to rely on my own strength or my own wisdom to do these things.

Speaking of serving, tonight is the "18-mealer". Boy, I don't like that play on words. But the only alternative I can think of is MEFFGA (Massively Enormous Free Food Give Away). And that has *no* gravitas. Anyway, regardless of what it is called, it should prove to be a good time. At least it has in the past.

So this morning during worship (which, BTW, was lead by Mike and Jen Wall, after a 2 year hiatus), I was struck with an analogy. I saw the Holy Spirit as a conductor of a vast orchestra. We are the instruments. God writes the music. The Spirit calls some of us to rise our voices in worship and calls others to bow our heads in prayer. Through the good times and the bad, the Spirit leads us to follow God's music the way it was meant to be played, in every way bringing glory to Him.

It was really good to have Mike and Jennifer leading worship again. It was great worship.

On a more familial note, Rand and Mat asked us today if they saved up $150, if we would give them $50, so they could buy a second trampoline. Of course we said no. One trampoline takes up enough yard space, thank you. 15 minutes later, Matrim comes in and askes if he can save up and buy the right to save up and buy a trampoline. Oh, man. This kid is gonna be a lawyer.

Wow, has it really been three weeks since I posted?!? So what's been going on... hmm. Let's start with lessons learned:

1) I'm glad I don't live in Iowa, but in Minnesota, where people realize that Premuim Gasoline should cost more than regular.

2) Divorce sucks.

3) Valley Fair is best in small doses.

4) Transformers is a fun movie, but not life-changing.

5) Saw preview of I am Legend movie coming out this Christmas. I hope I do not learn a single thing else about that movie until I see it opening night.

6) Series finale of SG-1 would have made a good episode, but sucked as the finale.

7) God is good, all the time.

8) Summer is hot and air-conditioning is good.

9) Did I mention divorce sucks? I think God hates it for a reason.

10) I can make 800+ sno-cones in 2 hours. Recall Taste of Heaven 2007 for details.

That is all. For now...

Due to lack of interest, 2008 Presidential Campaign has been cancelled

Fox Network replaces long-running election series with additional season of American Idol

Emotional crew strikes set for the last time.

"Existing presidential canidates are welcome to audition," says network execs.

"Only one generation..."

So, yesterday in church, John was praying for fathers. While he was praying I got the message, "Only one generation." This is something I think I have heard from other sources. It is the idea that people tend to perpetuate the family environement that they grew up in. People who grew up in abusive situations seem to have abusive families as adults. Because of that, however, it only takes one generation to break that cycle and create a new family tradition. So one generation can re-write our entire society and culture.

On the other hand, just as negative effects are carried forward, so are positive. And that same generation that can eliminate the bad things can also remove the good things.

So, in the wake of this Father's Day Weekend, I will pray for families everywhere. In particular for parents. That they will have wisdom to raise up a generation that can break the cycles of mental and physical abusive.

Would you recommend a movie you had not seen, or a restaurant that you had never been to? And if someone gave you a recommendation without trying it first, how much would that recommendation be worth?

This has been brought to my mind because of 2 things I have heard in the past week, from two different Vineyard pastors. The first was our own Chris Reeves. He commented that if the Vineyard model was working like it should, we would see dozens of people coming forward for prayer every week.

The second was from Columbus Vineyard Paster Rich Nathan. I have been listening to him online for the past few weeks and I really enjoy his sermons. Allow me to paraphrase... "The people out there, the people who don't know Jesus, no longer care about the truth of Christianity or the facts of Jesus' life and death on the cross. They don't want a reasoned, logic debate about the existence of God, or a treatise about sin and redemption. What they want to know is, do you know a power that can free me from enslavement to the filth of this world, that can give me purpose, significance, peace, and if you know that power, I will follow that power."

So, I come back to that original line of questioning... Have we as Christians experienced the freedom, and do we continue to experience the freedom, from the fear, the pain, the degradation, the hatred of this world? Not that we do not experience those things, but that they do not rule over us. That we continue go to the Power that is greater than these powers, and find freedom. And if we have not, if we do not, why would anyone ever listen to us when we tell them about Jesus.

So just about my entire family is reading a series of science fiction books about a character named Honor Harrington. This is a very good series.

Anyway, in this series, 2 large star nations are at war. One of this nations has a number of allies. This same nation also has a significant technological advantage over their enemy. Over the course of the series, one of this nation's allies switches sides. The reasons for this are varied, but the result is that the enemy nation gets access to much of the advanced technology. Many of our hero nations secrets are given away.

It has only recently occurred to me how devestating something like that could be on a personal level. I have private areas of my life that I keep hidden from almost everyone. I say almost because there is one person with whom I share everything. If that person were to betray me, were to want to hurt me or humiliate me, that person would have more than ample ammunition. It comes down to a matter of trust. Thankfully, I trust this person implicitly.

I am reminded of a quote I heard many years ago, and I cannot remember who said it. It went something like this...

"If all the people of the world came together and made one giant heap of all their troubles, from which each would take an equal share, most people would be content to take their own troubles and go home."

When I first read that, it made no sense to me at all. Then I understood it to mean that most people have less than their "equal share" of trouble. However, a new meaning is dawning on me. I think some people have a certain amount of ... pride? in their troubles. An attitude that says "They may be troubles, but their are *my* troubles". It leads to a line from a BNL song.

"Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves Of all these demons haunting us To keep us company?"